Underdogs

Today, Texas Tech plays UT. AT our house, we will be cheering madly for the Red Raiders. I hate UT and always have. I was thinking about why. Here is my theory. I went to a junior high that usually got beaten by the Evans Eagles. Because I was in the band,I went to all the football games so I sat through a lot of bad games. When you have to go to games, in rain, in snow, and unbearable heat, you feel invested in them. Again, in high school, my school was the Mustangs and they were terrible at football. Our arch rivals were the Plainsmen and they always won. They were arrogant and I hated that. After they would beat us, the whole crowd from their side would sing, "The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used to Be" to us. Moving on to college, I went to Texas Tech and they sucked back then. Week after week, we would sit and cheer for the underdog. And lose. On the rare occasion that we would beat somebody big, it was euphoric. Insane happiness over a stupid football game. So I hate Texas because they represent years of getting stomped by the big guys in town. And I always love the Cinderella team.

Anyway, there is a more important point to all this and I am getting there. Inside me, my emotions fight against my physical strength. They battle constantly and although emotions sometimes score a few points, generally they get their butts kicked. My emotions are the Cinderella team. They have been told for years that the are weak, ugly and useless. "Use your strength, don't cry like a baby." I have believed for so long that I don't need them. I just need to be a big girl and get the job done.

Today, emotions showed up not as "Cinder" ella, all dirty and beaten down. Today "Ella" showed up, in a beautiful dress, updo and high heels. And emotions gently and softly, tore through the wall that I had built around her for so long. She trumped the physical part of me with her beauty and kindness and tears. And Prince Charming said that he saw my soul. It was euphoric and insane happiness over the battle for the grounds of my heart.