I want to ride the ferris wheel instead

I thought I had blogged about risk once before and sure enough I found it. Back in Decmber. Out of self protection, I was very vague about the big risk I took and now I cannot remember what it was. Funny how something that seems so big, just a few months ago, I cannot even recall. Maybe that is a good thing.



I felt like I took a risk today and it felt really small thinking about it before hand. But when the time came, it felt heavy and huge. I said it anyway and now I feel foolish and exposed. Kind people were there and said all the right things but still I feel like I gained 100 pounds. When I got back home I wanted to eat - everything. It was an incredible urge, like a monster inside me screaming. I didn't eat HEB out of business but it is interesting that I wanted to. The next feeling to hit was being silly. I was singing in public and laughing at everything. It was fun but it passed. Now I feel very thoughtful and tired. I am on a roller coaster and I hate roller coasters. Hanging on and trying not to vomit.