Anger

This week in Grace group our lesson was on anger. So it has been on my mind a lot. Friday I was at Sam's picking up some photos and I saw a man who looked familiar. I hate this because sometimes it takes days to remember who this person is. However this time, I felt this funny feeling about this guy. I knew I did not like meeting this man but still I was drawing a blank. A few minutes later, it hit me who he was and this is where the anger comes into the story

Earlier this summer, the boys were playing frisbee in the pool. I was asleep. They were not throwing a real frisbee. They were throwing the skimmer lid. This is a very hard plastic disc that looks like a frisbee but isn't quite as forgiving. Luke stuck his head under water and stood up just in time to catch the "frisbee" on the chin.' Immediately, three kids were screaming for me because blood was everywhere. I remember feeling very calm. I knew he needed stitches. About 20 years ago, the first time one of the kids needed stitches I ran in circles in the backyard like an idiot, completely freaked out. Sorry. I got lost in my story.

Luke and I went to an emergency clinic and immediately got in to see the doctor. It was the guy from Sams. He was gruff and snarled his lip when he talked. He is my dad as a doctor. He looks like him and has the same amount of mercy - zero. He even had on boots and the same hideous gabardine pants that my dad wears.He tells me that yes he needs to do stitches. Luke of course is scared. He has never had stitches. The deadening shot hurts too. The anger comes in when he starts ridiculing boys who cry "like a girl" and admiring Luke for not being a sissy. I am fuming. As soon as he left, I corrected his statements to Luke. I told him that there was nothing wrong about admitting that you are scared or hurting. Also that crying is not exclusive to girls and is ok for guys too.

This week as we talked about anger and how it can be a good thing, I thought about this day again. I think my anger was a positive for my son that day and was not sinful. I was not rude to that doctor in any way. But I was fighting for my son. Another incident happened this summer when my anger led me to fight for them. They were hurt in an incident during VBS. I was fighting mad. But I fought for them. Several weeks later, I was driving through the church parking lot and saw the woman who started this mess and I considered running over her which obviously was sinful. I did manage to resist. So I am still struggling with what anger should look like but it was good to see some progress.

Great Thoughts from Rob Bell

I have been re-reading Sex God by Rob Bell and loved these words.


For thousands of years Christians have found the cross to be so central to life. It speaks of God's suffering, God's pain, God's broken heart. It's God making the first move and waiting for our response.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed vulnerable, left hanging int the balance, you know how God feels.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and they responded, they reciprocated with love of their own, you know how God feels.

The cross is God's way of saying, "I know what it is like."

It's the place we find out that we're not alone, where we find the strength to go on. Not a strength that comes from within ourselves but a strength that comes from God. The God who keeps going. Who keeps offering. Who keeps loving. Who keeps risking. A God who knows what it is like.

If God can continue to risk, then maybe we can too.

Perhaps you have had your heart broken by someone. You risked and extended yourself and they rejected and turned away and didn't return your love.

There is something divine in your suffering.

Somebody divine in your pain.

You know how God feels.

Really good, loving people get hurt. It's how things are.

Love is risky for God too.

New Photos

Random Thoughts about Job

I have been thinking about Job for a week. Last week I was talking about this book with a couple of other people and several things struck me. So I decided to read it again. The first interesting thought about Job was that he wanted answers from God not opinions from his friends. He demanded God answer him, not content with anything less.

The second thing that struck me as I re-read Job was how I remember thinking his friends were not really giving him bad advice. God does punish us for our sins and reward us based on our good deeds. How could Job say he was innocent? Nobody is innocent. Today, I realized that I have had a very distorted view of God. I saw him in black and white. Do good and He is happy, but mess up and He is ready to strike. There was no mercy in my view.

I love Job 16:18-22. "O Earth do not cover my blood; may my cry never be laid to rest! Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend." We do have an advocate. The Message uses the words, My Champion and my Friend. God in His mercy sent Jesus. Such mercy that I have missed seeing so much.

Still it is a confusing book. Is it ok for Job to rant at God? Accuse Him? Demand answers? Why is this in scripture? God is such a mystery. Chapter 38 says that God answered Job out of a storm. Was this referring to His anger at Job? I was reminded of the book, The Shack, and the chapter when Mack meets the judge. She accuses Mack of judging others and God for not doing things the way Mack wanted. Mack was guilty of making his judgement higher than Gods. Job seems to be doing the same thing. He tells Job "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you shall answer me." God sets Job straight on things and I love Job's answer.

Chapter42:1-6 The Message - "I'm convinced. You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, "Who is muddying this water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second guessing my purposes?" I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. You told me, " Listen and let me do the talking. Let me ask the questions. you give the answers" I admit once I lived by rumors of you, now I have it all firsthand - from my own eyes and ears."

I have muddied the waters, ignorantly confused things, second guessed God and not listened many times. So it is such a wonder to me to read the end, where God chews out Job's friends and commends Job for speaking what is right. He doubly blesses Job.

I must admit I still don't understand much of Job but I can see things that are comforting.

- It is ok to rant sometimes

- God likes truthfulness and honesty not foolish words

- shut up and listen to God not just your firends

- I have a merciful Daddy, which is hard to grasp

- Jesus is my champion and my friend

The dresser vomited

I walked up the stairs the other day and saw this. It made me laugh because it looked like the dresser opened itself up and purged its contents on the floor. Maybe it is just funny to me but it made me laugh in the middle of an exhausting day. Moving is way too hard work. I have decided I will have to die in this house!