Perfection

Summer Happenings

In two days, this very cute little boy is getting married. That doesn't seem possible. This photo was taken on his first birthday and he was charming everyone in the store. He is always charming. As a teenager, he was always surrounded by girls... his harem we called them. Hard to believe that he is starting his own family. I am remembering so much this week. What a blessing having kids can be.

However, he did come home with 3 loads of stinky laundry which will now be Jessica's problem. I won't miss that!

Earlier this week, this comic character was seen sorting the laundry. Putmans are always going for the laugh!

Also, I am thinking about Nathaniel who is coming soon. Mike and I went into Toys R Us and had to buy monkeys and a reminder of where Grandma and Grandpa live.

His nursery is adorable. You can check it out http://shutterbabe.wordpress.com/

Church

We are joining the church this weekend after 23 years years of attending there. No great spiritual reason, sorry. Mike has been asked to be on a committee and you have to be a member, so we are finally going to do it. The problem is that we had been thinking about leaving the church for over a year. I do not currently like my church. I wonder what it would be like to get excited about going to church. Right now I have to make myself go, every Sunday. And sometimes I lose that argument.

There are several reasons I don't like it right now. Mostly the worship service is torture. Boring and dry. Maybe it is just me being boring and dry. The youth department was a great reason to stay and now they got rid of the high school guy we loved. The new junior high guy is something to hope for. If he could minister to my kids I would be happy to sit through torture on Sundays.

What should church feel like? Or is feel the right word? Should I base this on feelings? It should feel like home and safe and friendly. Not critical or rejecting. Yesterday, it was rejecting. Long story but someone called from the church to tell me some of my kids were not welcome in a certain spot this week. I was so angry I could hardly speak. I hung up and cried, wondering how do I tell them without crushing them. Just that morning, one child had told me how a younger child told them that he was grateful for how my child loved God and showed it to him. He was pretty excited by that. And then he gets kicked out for being who he is. Just as God created him to be. Thankfully Mike was here to do the deed and he was amazing. I asked some friends to pray and they prayed for Mike to have the words. That prayer was answered. He could sell ice to an Eskimo. The kids were not hurt just a little confused. Now only I am hurt and I want to rip someone's face off.

Now on Sunday I have to go make nice in front of some elders and say all the right answers like a nice Christian wife. Gag! I hope they don't ask about how I fell about the church.

I feel shame even typing this but here goes......

I want a new house. There I feel better. I said it. It feels so selfish to ask God for a new house but I am. I don't want to want it, but I do. I have been thinking about why and I thinking I have made some connections to the past.

I lived in a trailer until I was 6. My sisters and I shared bunk beds. Three girls in 2 beds. This trailer was 10x 60. I remember once at Bible study we were talking about how I grew up and a friend looked down his nose at me about the 3 kids in a bunk bed story. There is shame connected to that, that we were poor. Trailer trash.

16 years ago, we started over financially because of a job change. Mike made this job change to be home more with the kids which was a good thing. 13 years ago, we started over again because we had the twins with no medical insurance. The twins were a good thing too. God provide for us in amazing ways during this time. 1o years ago, we started saving again for a house but felt like God was leading us to adopt a baby from Korea. We were wiped out again financially and the adoption was a disaster. Long story for another day. So we gave up and decided to change this house to fit us better.

Now we have a nice house that Mike worked his butt off to add on to 8 years ago. I have a kitchen that women drool over. We added on because we could not figure out how to afford another house with 6 kids to feed and send to college. So we settled. And stayed in this neighborhood. That we hate. Whitney went off to college and when she would come home I sensed she didn't feel safe here anymore. A few other times some of the kids friends have come over and worried about leaving their nice cars on the street in our old neighborhood. Once Jared and his friends were home from college and the police were in front of the house with guns out aiming at a car, right in front of our house. I wanted to die. Once again, shame is connected to where I live.

So I dream of moving to a nicer neighborhood where our neighbors don't tie pit bulls to their front porch and cars don't get stolen and I don't feel embarrassed to tell people how to get to our house. And that feels so selfish and ungrateful. I want a master bedroom with enough room for a chair to sit and read in. I want trees in the yard and a sidewalk out front.

I'm really mad about this whole house thing today and I'm not sure why. I want to believe God could do this for me. I love to give good gifts to my children. Things they wish for and cannot afford. I know He could do this but I don't know if He will allow it to happen. He has done big, huge things in the past for us. But part of feels like He is holding out on me, because I am selfish. I am really struggling with all of this.

Favorite person (outside of your family): My friend Ginger. We have known each other 20 plus years. We have been through marriage, childbirth (13 kids), homeschooling, church splits, beach trips, and many nights out running away from reality. Once we were at La Fogota and the mariachis were hanging around the table behind us way too much. We could not even talk Finally they left and the very drunk woman at the table turned around and explained to Ginger that she had opened up her shirt some so they would play for her and her date for free! Never would have thought of that!
- Also she is a black belt in Tae kwon Do and she can kick your butt!

Favorite food: Cow. I am a carnivore. I love steak, hambugers, fajitas........ I got this from my dad. Last year for Thanksgiving, he was home alone and I called him to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving and found out he was all alone. So I asked him what he cooked for his big meal. A 20 ounce steak was his answer. "With what else," I asked. Nothing! Yum.



Quirks about me: I go to the bathroom a lot. Always have, probably always will. I went on vacation with a friend and her family when I was about 15 and I drove her dad crazy. I also went on the side of the road in the Dominican Republic in front of everyone on the bus and the entire morning commute. Think broad daylight and buses full of people with 15 guys hanging on the outside - honking and laughing. This was on a company business trip with Mike's former employer. When you gotta go, you gotta go.


Any regrets in life? Buying a new car, 2 years ago. Other than that, no, or nothing I could put on here!


Favorite blog? I don't know. I enjoy starting at one and going down links until I don't even know whose I am reading.


Worst job ever had: McDonalds at 15. Working at 5am with a boss who was constantly telling me to smile. Not at 5 am.


Job you would pay to NOT have: Managing grumpy teenagers at McDonalds!


Favorite Bible verse: Psalm 61:10 I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.



Confessions? No way!


If I HAD to spend $1,000 on myself, what would I spend it on? a vacation to the beach, some beach I have never seen before. Mike can come too! But he has to buy the margaritas!


Favorite thing in the house: My teddy bear collection. Childish perhaps but they make me laugh. I have some great ones.

What am I bad at: Shutting my mouth and sometimes opening my mouth


What circumstances in my life would I change if I could? Not much really, life is pretty good. Maybe money to travel and have some fun with.

Who are my real life heroes? My 95 year old Grandmother. She is an amazing woman. She was born in a dugout in the Indian terriotory which is now New Mexico. She loves her family very well. In the summer when I was growing up, her house was such a fun place. She would buy us popsicles, let us climb trees, take us to the park, let us spit her yummy purple grapes at each other and much more. She raised 4 kids and held on to a sometimes stormy marriage, which is how she found the Lord. He is her rock. Her faith is real. She prays scary prayers like "Lord do whatever it takes to change this person" about people she loves.

She currently is still living alone with several broken ribs that cannot heal. She still refuses to have help bathing and she rolls out of the bathtub on to the floor, trying not to fall. She is a true pioneer woman.

She is also funny. She told me once that her dentures were bothering her so bad she could not stand to wear them. She said she would probably die from hoof and mouth disease and we would all be sitting at her funeral giggling about the dentures that killed her.

What relaxes me? Dinner out on a patio with a margarita and my husband.


What stresses me out? Too many things to do


Why do I blog? Just for fun

Sir Mike fights off the fire breathing dragon

This afternoon, I was sitting at the kitchen table working on some school stuff when Cody walked in the room. He looked completely normal like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. A few minutes later, someone knocked on the front door. I could see from the kitchen that it was a woman and she looked really angry. Scary angry! Now in my defense, I usually ask Mike to answer the front door anyway because he is heartless and effective at chasing away obnoxious salesmen. Except for Girl Scouts, but that is another story. He once bought a whole case of thin mint cookies.

So anyway, I threw my husband under the bus and asked him to get the door. I didn't even warn him. As soon as he opened the glass door, she SCREAMED, "DO YOU HAVE A SON WHO IS WEARING A BLACK SHIRT?" Mike begins looking around the house cluelessly to see if he does indeed have son wearing a black shirt. Cody who is now sitting at the table with me waves sheepishly at the woman. She continues telling Mike that she drives a car that weighs 3000-4000 pounds but she can't quite seem to remember what kind of car it is. Finally she gets the word Pontiac out and finally gets to the point of telling us that Cody had run into the street and she nearly hit him. She continued, "I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THESE KIDS FOR YEARS AND THEY SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED IN THE STREET. I COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!" Mike is looking helpless and keeps apologizing while those of us safely hidden in the kitchen are giggling. Finally she storms off. It was too funny as she was totally out of control.

Now in her defense, I know she was scared to death and her anger was really fear. I hit a boy about Cody's age with a Suburban once and it was the most frightening thing I ever experienced. Thankfully, he was fine and yes, I was hysterical too. Still, it was funny listening to her rant and watching Mike squirm, while Cody sits completely calm in the kitchen. When Mike got back in the kitchen, Cody admitted that he had run out in front of her a few minutes ago. I guess she was sitting in her car trying to calm down. Good thing she calmed down, she might have killed us all. Wow!